First Blog

So I decided to start a blog. I have previously been updating everyone on Face book, but it occurred to me that not everyone may want to hear the constant updates! This is also more of a way for me to journal and vent my frustration. Maybe it will be therapeutic. Today is Martin Luther King, JR day and the kids are out of school which is probably a good thing because it keeps me busy and occupied so I don't think about the sweet baby that continues to sit in a foster home in Korea. The last couple months of last year were easier because we knew nothing would happen until January so we could rest easy and relax a bit. But when January came, we knew there could be "movement" any day and so the constant checking of emails, caller ID and Holt forums for any morsel of information started. Then when the 2nd week came and nothing, we started to make phone calls, but still try to not be "those people" that are calling all the time. The problem is ... everything is in the Korean Government's hands and they apparently are not accepting EP submissions yet and  are not giving anyone information as to when they plan to resume. Not to say it could not still be in January as we are only halfway thru the month. But a month is a long time and it's starting to break me down.  I have a cold I can't get rid of, I play games and do puzzles with my kids because it makes me happier than doing laundry and housework. Right now I'm in the same clothes I changed into on Saturday. I snap at people for no reason because I'm cranky and I just hope they understand it's not them, its me.  Now lets talk about the saddest thing of all of this .. a little girl getting older and more attached to her foster family everyday because the government who took her into their care will not let her go. The crazy thing is that I have never once even in the last 2 weeks questioned my decision to adopt. I know in my heart it was the best decision and still is. I would not do anything any differently. She is mine as much as Madeline and Jake are and it will so be worth the wait.  I just hope I don't have to look at the pictures on my fridge much longer, but will instead be able to hold her in my arms. So now I am going to shower, take my gets to lunch, go to hockey camp and even run for the first time this year.  And I might just check my email only once more today. It's time to keep living and snap out of this! At least for today ...